If I ever fall in love

Today I am going to tell you a random story, a story that I have never told anyone until now. Once upon a time there was this girl that I really liked, she was the ying to my yang we just fit like a ring to a ring finger. But then I was a wuss. I never really displayed my intentions I was scared.
I pretended I wanted just to be friends. That friendship, was the biggest thing that I valued in this world. Yup you guessed right. After a long period of battling with feelings for the potential future mother of my unborn children I grew a pair and asked her if she would be mine.
Well I never used those exact words I asked her if she had a boyfriend. To which she replied yes. She asked, “why?” to which I replied “nothing”. Thing is, I felt like I would be snatching away someones joy so me and my good self decided I wouldn’t, I felt like if I made a move I’d be a relationship breaker of some sorts.
We were still good friends and I repressed all these feelings until one day I decided you know what? What is the worst that could ever happen? What did I stand to lose? I told her I needed her to be my girlfriend, she told me she was still with him. But then she asked if she left him I’d love her forever? My heart was screaming yes, but my head was screaming “I’m not sure Kel, you know you have no experience in this shit whatsoever?”. So I told her I wouldn’t give promises. And she told me if she was to leave where she is, no matter how unrewarding it was there had to be some guarantees…
Just like that I lost her the second time. I don’t know if Prince Charles and Camilla can identify, can you? For about a week I was distraught, I didn’t know how to deal, cope with all this emotional ups and downs. My mom always makes fun of me during that period. Apparently she noticed and knew all that was going on haha.
Now that I am way older I usually look back and laugh. Like the alchemist told the boy, one is loved because one is loved, there is no reason needed for loving. But don’t go loving people’s spouses you will get shot my friend. Follow your heart to where it leads you.


Also published on Medium.

2 thoughts on “If I ever fall in love

  1. A lovely story with two interesting themes that are as old as time. Writers and singers, poets and dreamers have all tried to wrestle with these two ideas without resolution.
    The first theme is that of being shy…being scared to show one’s true feelings…It is said that faint heart never won fair maiden …Who dares wins…the battle is for the Valiant.

    The other great cause of immense heartache is how an individual cannot choose or control whom they fall in love with. Love is blind and illogical. Writers and psychologists down the ages have asked why it is that the heart will sometimes attach itself to ridiculous, illogical, inappropriate and often impossible romances. It is as if the gods of love and romance sometimes decide to have a little laugh at our expense.

    A wise shepherd was looking after our flock as we grazed in the fields one day. He looked at us as we flicked our short tails happily in the lush green grass and said: Surely the secret to a long and happy life is to avoid funny business with your friend’s spouse or your spouse’s friend.

    Stay well.

    1. Hello Woolie,

      It is usually a great pleasure seeing you here. Do you know some of the greatest seducers always start with the first theme. You try too hard then you realize seduction is just a game you have to play. This now goes to the second theme, you can play this game with whoever you chose to be your target. This now calls for your ability and agility as the seducer morphing into something that this target might want more of; BAIT! Please don’t call me manipulative, just a late bloomer who is learning the ways of the world when the others are already living them….

      Thank you Woolie for passing by 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *